Dating While Disappointed

You finally met someone!

He’s attractive, has a job, a car, his own place, he loves the Lord AND he has all his teeth!

Congratulations! You’ve found the golden unicorn!

You’re excited about his potential and tell alllll your close girlfriends about it…and after the third day of not hearing from him, you realize that you probably, may have, should not have had, said a peep about him, since you should have known that you’d be disappointed yet again.

As a single woman, I have been through this a few times. In my 20s, it was laughable when potentials didn’t work out; it’s a little easier to dust yourself off and try again. Now that I’m in my 30s, some days it seems that everyone is rooting for me to meet my mate. I mean my coworkers, family, church, neighbors, professors, and even the cats down the street want love to find you!

I’ve even told myself I don’t want to tell anyone because it’s probably not going to work out and I don’t want to disappoint everyone AGAIN; I mean I even had a coworker take the end of one of my relationships harder than I did!

Where is the line between being excited about the endless possibilities yet forcing yourself to not be excited because of endless disappointments?

Could we be getting ourselves excited too quickly?

Should we NOT be excited to meet someone new?

Should we be excited BUT pretend that we’re not??


I think we women can sometimes be a bit overzealous *cough* thirsty *cough*. But I also think we shouldn’t allow our excitement to be dimmed down just because of past dating failures.

When potential bachelors are pursuing you, you need someone who is not mesmerized by your potential’s beard game or his shiny white teeth, to help you objectively assess their actualities versus their potentialities. (I’ll be talking more about this in an upcoming post).

There’s danger in being so afraid of being disappointed that you keep your dating life a complete secret.

Having a friend or mentor objectively give you advice is important for safety and accountability reasons, so tell someone; just don’t go put it on a billboard for all to know and all that has happened is you all have listened to each other breathe on the phone.

Get cute. Go out. Meet new people. Date. Have fun.

Just don’t get excited prematurely and open your heart to anyone who did nothing to deserve it.


Coach Christine

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